Reframing Failure: The Opportunity for Growth

Reframing Failure: The Opportunity for Growth

“Life is amazing. And then it’s awful. And then it’s amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it’s ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That’s just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it’s breathtakingly beautiful.”

―L.R. Knost

Our lives have their own seasons, like the growth, inspiration and clarity of Spring, the energy, excitement and adventure that Summer brings, followed by the cool respite of Fall and then Winter, the season of darkness, rest and introspection.

All of the seasons of our lives are here to serve us and give us deeper insight and wisdom into who we are and what our soul-mission is.

Image Credit: Kinga Cichewicz

Life has a natural ebb and flow, but when we hit a low-point, often caused by perceived failure, it’s easy to hold onto that sense of lack and loose sight of the incredible growth that can emerge from destruction. We all experience the season of quick growth, hustle, and inspiration, but this season cannot last forever, it’s just life’s funny way of slapping you in the face and telling you to wake up!

When we move into the season of rest and introspection, this is often caused by a breakdown in our work or personal lives. Dwelling in the past, yearning for more energetic, inspirational days and over-analyzing what went wrong is a natural way of coping with uninvited change. Failure is inherent to life, yet we are almost always working to avoid it a any cost. Once we come to fully embrace failure as an opportunity, we have overcome probably one of the most challenging dilemmas that we experience as humans.

When we reframe our mindset around failure, we invite new insight that would never had arisen without the fall. We can see this as a full reset-button, an opportunity for you to honor the growth you’ve made and move forward with intention.

Image Credit: My Life Journal

Busy isn’t always better.

Interestingly, the season of hustle and deep work can manifest it’s own set of challenges. Often when we are so busy, that keeping our heads above water is the only goal, we can become distracted from our ultimate intention and mission. It can be challenging to maintain clarity when we don’t have time to breathe, to step back and take a look at the bigger picture.

Find the opportunity hiding in your slow season, hit the reset and find clarity and intention in your work and life. Take the feedback that your received through your ‘failure’ and find growth in your new insights.

The real challenge is tied to all of the fears that start to creep back in when you’ve hit the season of rest. It is an incredible thing to have the space and time to focus on yourself and your soul-mission. Unfortunately, our fear wants to keep safe, and keep us small, it works incessantly at risk-avoidance and will try to convince you that the unknown is a risk that you just can’t take.

The unknown, the space in which all new creative ideas emerge, the limitless potential that hides within, is ultimately the most precious gift that we have as individuals.

If you take a deeper look at fear, it is almost always tied to what is most important to us, that thing that matters so deeply to us that we must protect it from uncertainty. There is a sense of vulnerability tied to pursuing an idea that is so deeply important to us, but we cannot protect our wildest dreams without stifling them at the same time.

Image Credit: Houcine Ncib

It is natural for us to avoid the challenge that is the unknown, it is a physical and mental response in our bodies to avoid failure. But ultimately, the safe and easy route won’t ever lead you in the direction of incredible success and passion.

Honor Your Unique Journey

Finding an un-shakable sense of belonging, no matter what stage of life that your’e in right now, will show you that you are exactly where you’re meant to be. Honoring your journey, requires that we find compassion and wisdom in the challenges that we’ve faced. We always do the best that we can under the circumstances that we are given. Period. You are an anomaly, the fact that you exist in the time and place that you do, is an incredible gift. Embrace your journey, even if it’s been a rough one, you have a unique perspective that literally no-one else has or will ever have again, that is a gift that your challenges have given you.

Find Wisdom in the Feedback

Failure and success go hand in hand, you cannot have one without the other. Through failure, we receive feedback and new insights into ourselves and our mission. When we release the meanings and stories that we create around a perceived failure, we allow for new wisdom and a deeper sense of self-awareness and emotional intelligence to emerge. The avoidance of failure and discomfort will keep you small; protecting ourselves from pain is a futile effort, so move toward your fear, move toward the work that brings you the most excitement and inspiration. There is not a scenario in which everyone will always like you, or agree with you; you WILL receive feedback from the people on the side-lines that don’t understand your work. Ask yourself – Do I want to water-down my ideas or work to suit those people? Nope. Move toward your passion for you, and for those out there that will love what you do. Gather insight from the feedback, and keep moving forward.

If your’e not failing, your not trying hard enough.

Embrase The Challenge

We are constantly presented opportunities that challenge our current state of being; with an understanding that we will grow through these obstacles, move toward what you fear most. When our current state is being challenged to grow, we experience a breakdown, but through the breakdown we have the opportunity for an incredible breakthrough. We must challenge our fears and the comfort of safety to grow and evolve as individuals, the breakdown is expected, and it is uncomfortable. But what arrises from the death of the old is infinite possibility. Knowing that challenge is inherent to growth, we have no other choice than to embrace it and know the our discomfort is a sure sign that we are growing.

Commit to taking aligned action toward your soul-mission.

Be in pursuit of magic.

Image Credit: Karly Santiago

5 Books That Will Change Your Life

5 Books That Will Change Your Life

1. Start With Why By Simon Sinek

How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action

Key Takeaways:

  • People don’t just buy what you do, they buy Why you do it. People want to support brands that align with their belief system, purpose-driven brands that stand for something will establish an audience that will advocate for them.
  • Great leaders inspire action. “Leaders who start with what they believe are the ones who inspire those around them, because in the end, we all follow those who lead not for themselves, but for others.” – Simon Sinek
  • The Golden Circle: Why –> How –> What. Before you define what you want to do and how to do it, establish the ‘Why’ that drives you. Everything else will fall into place if you have identified your core-beliefs and mission behind your work. Once you define your ‘Why,’ ‘How’ and ‘What’ you do will come naturally. Your process and the value that you are giving your community or customer base should all be driven by your mission and core values
  • There is a biological and scientific reason behind these theories – The Limbic Brain is responsible for our feelings of trust and loyalty, this is often unexplainable and a natural response to what we perceive around us. Core beliefs are at the center of this brain function, when something resonates with us on a deep level, it is touching on our value and belief system. Clearly communicating your ‘Why’ and mission can allow you to deeply connect with the right audience for your brand, an audience that will advocate for you!

2. Mindset By Carol Dweck Ph.D.

The New Psychology of Success

Image Credit: http://www.gatesnotes.com

Key Takeaways:

  • Carol Dweck Ph.D, a pioneer in the study of human motivation, has defined two distinct mindsets that vastly effect one’s life-outcomes. She uses the terms Fixed vs. Growth Mindset to examine how one’s outlook and belief-system can impact ones motivations and drive to learn and grow.
  • Individuals with a Fixed Mindset believe that one’s intelligence and skill-sets are ‘fixed’ or static throughout one’s life. They believe that we are born with certain skillsets and these are not changeable.
  • Individuals with a Growth Mindset believe that intelligence and new skillsets can be learned and cultivated. They believe that through effort and a motivation to grow and learn, that any skill is attainable.
  • Dweck notes the differences between these two distinct mindsets through her study and research. She believes that those that have a Growth Mindset are much more likely to succeed and thrive.
  • Some important characteristics of someone with a Growth Mindset: embraces challenges, sees effort as a path to mastery, open to constructive criticism as a learning tool, persists even when faced with setbacks, finds inspiration in the success of others, has awareness of their flaws but believes that these can be overcome through concerted effort.

3. The Gifts of Imperfection By Brene Brown Ph.D.

Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are

Key Takeaways:

  • This is a guide to cultivating self-worth and self acceptance.
  • Brown offers us tools to find courage, overcome shame, fear and self-consciousness.
  • Vulnerability is a practice in whole-hearted living, true self-acceptance and finding bravery in the face of fear.
  • Brown reframes the idea of vulnerability, which is often viewed as a weakness. She believes that our ability to embrace the vulnerable side of us, the side of us that avoids uncertainty and rejection, will allow us to feel truly empowered and self-actualized. Vulnerability is your superpower, your way of truly connecting on a deeply human level, both to yourself and to those around you.

4. The Power of Now By Eckart Tolle

A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment

Key Takeaways:

  • Life is a series of present moments, cultivating a true sense of presence in the ‘now’ is a practice in mindfulness.
  • Become an observer of your thoughts without judgement, your thoughts are not ‘you.’ Thoughts occur and they can be released just as fast if you choose to observe them, and not to believe them or make value judgements based on them. Enlightenment is achieved by rising above thought.
  • Pain is a result of resistance, anxiety is a physical and emotional response to a perceived outcome that has not occurred.

5. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck By Mark Manson

A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

Key Takeaways:

  1. “Not giving a fuck does not mean being indifferent; it means being comfortable being different.” – Mark Manson
  2. Simply put, the key to living a good life is not giving a fuck about more things, but rather, giving a fuck only about the things that align with your personal values.
  3. This book is about making an intentional decision about what you truly care to give a fuck about and letting everything else go. We spend so much of our lives concerned over trivial things, things that we have no control over and this takes our time an attention away from the things that truly matter to us.
  4. We only have a limited amount of energy and we must choose to direct that energy towards fuck-worth endeavors, things that bring us joy, passion and inspiration. Align yourself to things that are true, present and fundamentally important to you.

5 Creative Practices to Ignite your Inspiration

5 Creative Practices to Ignite your Inspiration

Image Credit to Jeff Sheldon

We all find ourselves experiencing creative block at one time or another – inspiration and creative flow are somewhat illusive to even the most seasoned creator, but incorporating some of these creative practices into your everyday can help re-ignite that passion!

1. Wake Up Early + Engage Your Brain

Many creatives tend toward the night-owl lifestyle, and I understand that personally! The seemingly simple practice of waking up an hour or two earlier than you normally do can make a huge impact! I feel my most creative and productive if I wake up around sunrise, get some coffee brewing and have a glass of warm lemon water – not only does this ignite your metabolism, but this allows your body to release toxins (Delish!). Yes, this practice has a physical effect on your body, but what I’m interested in is the impact that this has on us mentally.

“A large-scale genetics study found that being biologically programmed to wake up early is linked to greater happiness and a lower risk of schizophrenia and depression. Those who naturally want to go to bed late and wake up late are at greater risk from the mental toll of having to fight their natural body clock.” -sleepcouncil.org/uk

While sipping my coffee, I try to find a space to allow myself to awaken gently – I find that allowing more sunlight into my home, and even finding a space to get direct sunlight onto my face and body can be extremely energizing. We are naturally meant to arise with the sun, and allowing more light into our homes can enlighten our creative space and mind. When I’m really feeling really tired or lethargic, I try to do some simple stretches to loosen up and awaken my body.

Image Credit: Jake Sheldon

2. Journaling Creative Ideas + Gratitude

Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed with creative ideas or a complete inspiration block, writing down these thoughts and ideas can be immensely impactful. It can be hard to journal when you feel stuck, but many times this can be the most freeing. If writing isn’t you thing, try doodling or creating a thought map. Don’t censor yourself, this practice is for you. Hell, if you feel the need to burn after writing, that can be another great release! Here are some prompts to get you going:

  • What is on my mind? Why is this weighing on me? Where is this coming from and what core belief is driving my feelings around this?
  • What am I grateful for today? What gifts do I have that are unique to me?
  • What is challenging me today? How can I reframe this challenge to see it as a growth opportunity?
  • Have I been procrastinating? What fear is driving me to put this off?
  • Make a To-Do list of actionable items for today, this week, this month. Make these items attainable and physically write them down so you can eagerly scratch them off later – Oh, so satisfying!
  • What creative practice makes me feel fulfilled and connected? How can I incorporate this into my every-day?

Often times, I find myself censoring my writing, or harshly criticizing my artwork before truly giving it time. While I experience this myself, I believe this to be the death of creativity. Man are humans complex. We all hold ourselves to such a high standard, that we won’t allow ourselves to fail. We will quit before we’ve even started. I’m telling this to myself as much as I am to anyone else – We must fail in order to grow. We must create complete shit before we can truly see a path to growth. Not only should we allow ourselves to fail, we should seek out opportunities to push ourselves beyond our current limitations.

We must experience a break-down in order to see the breakthrough.

3. Self-Expression Through Style

Style is a form of self expression. We all make choices as consumers as to what clothing, hair style and accessories resonate with us on a deeply personal level. We have choice in how we present ourselves, this is an inherently creative act even though it is rarely viewed that way. I personally feel my most expressed as an individual when I’ve taken the time to thoughtfully represent myself through my stylistic choices. When I make these decisions passively, is when I end up feeling frumpy, generic or uninspired. I’m trying to choose my words carefully here because I don’t want to suggest that any certain brand or status symbol should or will make you feel more complete as a person. I don’t believe that. What I do believe is that we all must choose to present ourselves in some way, shape or form, and doing so with intention, a sense of creativity and self-expression will make you feel more like you. I am always looking to edit down my personal wardrobe to items that make me feel amazing, self-expressed and sexy (at times). Here’s a great motto to live by, not just in terms of personal-style but in everyday life:

If it’s not a Fuck Yes, then it’s a Fuck No.

Edit down your wardrobe; items that feel dated, warn down or Meh to you should be donated or sold! Allow more space for self-expression and creativity by clearing out space in your closet, surprisingly this will clear out space in your mind as well.

Photo by Tamara Bellis on Unsplash

4. Seek-Out a Change in Scenery

Leave your house and explore your city, take a short road trip, actively seek inspiration in an environment that you are unfamiliar with. Simply, a change in scenery can not only take you out of your element but it can ignite creative inspiration. Bring a journal, sketch pad, camera or just simply Be and observe. True creativity is inspired by one’s surroundings and experiences – often times we are scrolling through Instagram or Pinterest, marveling in other’s creativity or their lives, this prompts us to feel a need to emulate this or experience a sense of lack in comparison to others. We have everything that we need in order to find success in our own creativity, we just need to observe, listen and engage more directly in our everyday lives. Open yourself up to inspiration by listening to what’s around you, I don’t just mean the physical act of listening, I mean observing and listening to learn or understand more fully. Oddly, sometimes all we need is to get out of our element in order to feel fully present. There’s something exciting about exploring and creating a sense of adventure for ourselves. Don’t be afraid to do something out of the norm, just shake things up! Go to a show that you wouldn’t normally go to, find an art gallery that you haven’t been to before, go hiking, go shoot street style in an urban setting (get consent too!), plan a road trip that you’ve been wanting to take forever – and just commit to it.

Sometimes all it takes is just a commitment to allowing adventure and uncertainty into your life.

5. Learn Something New

Seeking out a new creative outlet can often help you find a fresh perspective, there are any number of new skills that you can teach yourself (for free!) that will open up a whole new world of opportunities for you. These don’t have to be majorly complicated new skillsets like coding (Agh!), unless that’s what you’re drawn to girl, go for it! Some ideas for creative exploration: painting, creative writing, sewing, design, blogging, photoshop, macrame, gardening, cooking and on and on. Many times we think that we’ve pinpointed our skillset and avoid seeking out new avenues for self-expression, but the challenge is – our world is ever-evolving and changing, we must remain fluid with these changes and intentionally seek out new areas for growth within ourselves.

Photo by Max van den Oetelaar on Unsplash